Only 13 people have downloaded it, and usually the Friday mixes are very popular and get more than twice that amount within just the first few hours. How come, people? Not enough big names for you, ol‘ chap? A bit le too obscure, squire?

Then let me explain a thing or two: It has Breach on it, the most ass-ripping hardcore band this side of His Hero Is Gone. It has Acid Bath, trendsetter for a whole generation of sludge bands. It has grindcore band Social Infestation, starring Mastodon’s Troy Sanders. It has the fashionable punkers du jour Fucked Up. It has Naked City, an insane freeform jazz/grindcore project unlike anything made before or since.

It has Icepick, Jamey Jasta’s sideproject that smokes his main band Hatebreed like nobody’s business. It has a song by Marduk, easily one of the top five black metal bands in history. It has Steve Albini’s Big Black, noise rock gods of old. Last but not least it has an epic track by Boredoms, the best band to ever come out of Japan. No, correction: the best to ever come out of all of fucking Asia.

So why don’t you correct your mistake and click here and download my Friday MP3 Shuffle #30 and rock out like there’s no tomorrow. It’s fucking brilliant and it deserves your attention.

Are we all clear on that? Good, then let’s move on.

In early 1978 frontman Johnny Rotten quits The Sex Pistols after a disastruous U.S. tour, sick of the situation in general and manager Malcolm McLaren in particular. Shortly thereafter Julian Temple goes to work on the Pistols “documentary” (in quotes because I use that word very loosely) The Great Rock ‘N’ Roll with McLaren and the remaining band members Steve Jones (guitar), Sid Vicious (bass) and Paul Cook (drums). Rotten wants nothing to do with it.

The film was a higly fictional retelling of the band’s history, which more than anything showcases McLaren’s penchant for creating myths. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story and all that. Take everything in the film with a grain of salt. It was decided some new music must be recorded for the film, and the remaining trio set forth writing new material.

Jones, Vicious and Cook all took turns singing on these new songs, and hired (of all people) notorious train robber Ronnie Biggs to sing on two tracks, including Belsen Was A Gas, penned by Vicious. McLaren also conributes a bit in the vocal department, and Edward Tudor-Pole (who was Rotten’s replacement for about half an hour when the band still considered going on without him) sings a couple as well.

Of all these singers I must say Vicious is my favorite. Sure, he can’t stay in key to save his life, but that was never very important in punk rock, was it? He has just the snotty, bratty attitude necessary to get the job done. Whereas Jones and Cook sound insecure behind the mic, Vicious’ sneering delivery (somewhere between Rotten and Joey Ramone) fits perfectly. He couldn’t sing very well, he could barely play and he only had one song to his name, but he became the blueprint for all punks ever since for a reason. The guy just had something about him, let’s face it.

While Never Mind The Bollocks is of course the big classic, I’ll continue to make a case for The Great Rock ‘N’ Roll Swindle any chance I get. Yes, it’s an obvious last cash-in attempt by a manipulative, money hungry demon of a manager and the album is so erratic because the band was in shambles (in fact they didn’t even exist anymore at this point), and they had lost not only their lyricist and frontman, but also their direction. So what do you do? You cobbled together whatever shit you find, that’s what.

But the fact remains that this soundtrack has an even bigger fuck off-attitude than their only “real” album, as by releasing this album they told even their fans, as well as punk conventions in general, to fuck off. On Never Mind The Bollocks they may have proclaimed “And we don’t care!” but they didn’t fully live up to it until this one came along.

It’s total anarchy, a big fucking surreal mess of new songs without their singer mixed with old demo recordings featuring their singer and old demo recordings of their old singer with newly recorded backing tracks. Strange covers, their hit songs sung in French or reworked into disco medleys, orchestral reworkings of well known Pistols material, and let’s not forget the bawdy traditional Friggin’ In The Riggin’, sung by Jones. Maybe the best song ever recorded.

Some of the new songs deserve an extra mention: Silly Thing (download below) sung by Cook has a Clash/Buzzcocks feel with an adorable chorus unlike anything the band recorded with Rotten and is an excellent precursor to what Cook and Jones would later do in their short lived band The Professionals, a band I rate much higher than Rotten’s post-Pistols endeavor Public Image Ltd. The Professionals only recorded one album, I Didn’t See It Coming in 1981, but golly what an album it is. I’ll make a post about that one too some day, in the meantime you can download this compilation I made on my other blog which includes one of their songs.

The tracks recorded during the Never Mind The Bollocks demo sessions in 1976 are pretty damn sweet too though. My personal favorite is the Dave Berry cover Don’t Give Me No Lip, Child with the most venomous guitar riff this side of The Stooges. The cover Paul Revere’s (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone, most famous in The Monkees’ version, is absolutely staggeringly fantastic.

The film, which was just as ramshackle and lost & found as its soundtrack, was released in 1980 and with that the story of The Sex Pistols was over. Apart from the expected dead horse flogging of McLaren of course, who tried to milk every penny out of the band for a few more years.

The Pistols would eventually reunite in the mid 90s with their original bass player Glen Matlock, but let’s pretend that never happened, shall we?

Yes, let’s.

(mp3) The Sex Pistols – Silly thing (recommended!)
(mp3) The Sex Pistols – (I’m not your) steppin’ stone (recommended!)
(mp3) The Sex Pistols – Don’t give me no lip, child
(mp3) The Sex Pistols – C’mon everybody
(mp3) The Sex Pistols – Friggin’ in the riggin’ (recommended!)

Buy The Great Rock ‘N’ Roll Swindle @ Amazon.com

(zip) MP3 Shuffle #30 (44 mb)

1. Ronny Köhler – Now I lay thee down (2009)
2. Breach – Old ass player (2001)
3. Acid Bath – Jezebel (1994)
4. Social Infestation – Helpless hopeless (2000)
5. Fucked Up – What could have been (2004)
6. Masachist – Inborn obedience (2009)
7. Naked City – Bonehead (1990)
8. Big Dumb Face – Organ splitter (2001)
9. Icepick – Nothing without loyalty (2006)
10. Marduk – Into utter madness (2009)
11. Big Black – Bad penny (1987)
12. Boredoms – Super going (1998)

Buy ‘em all @ Amazon.com, why don’cha.

1. Their new drummer Billy Rymer is a beast.
2. The album will be awesome.

Released some time next year.

A demo snippet:

Another demo snippet:

(mp3) DEP – Breed (Nirvana cover)
Live in 2002.

(mp3) DEP – Baby’s first coffin
Available on Miss Machine (2004)

(mp3) DEP – Like I love you (Justin Timberlake cover)
Available on Plagiarism (EP, 2006)

(mp3) DEP – Lurch
Available on Ire Works (2007)

I’ll tell you this much though: This zip file most certainly doesn’t contain some samples from a legendary and often photoshopped Norwegian black metal or an American death metal band that likes Egypt a whole lot! No siree!

It also has no tracks from a band whose name implies a female baron, or a sludge/doom duo whose name would be something like “Really Really Dark Venomous Snake”. It also has nothing by a Swedish death metal band whose frontman used to sing in Bloodbath and has a crap sideproject called Pain.

Hell no! Nothing of the sort! Not me!

(zip) Samples from albums not yet released (27 mb)

(I may have managed to get the new computer working and the internet going in the new apartment, but I still have to get off my lazy ass and load the dozens of gigabytes of music from the old computer into the new one, and as soon as I’ve done that I can get back to posting as usual. So while I continue to procrastinate for a while, here’s a repost of my Mastodon history lesson from April 6th.)

The list of bands the members of Mastodon have been in, or are still in, is pretty long and I’ve compiled the essential ones in more or less chronological order (not 100% chronological, but close enough), ranging from about 1994 to 2009.

At the end of this compilation I threw in one Mastodon track each from 9 Song Demo, Call Of The Mastodon, Remission, Leviathan and Blood Mountain to round it off in style.

Eric Saner (original vocalist) – Sang on the 9 song demo in 2000, and was one of two vocalists in A Death Between Seasons around 1997/98.

Troy Sanders (bass, vocals) – Played bass and performed backing vocals in Four Hour Fogger between about 1995 and 1999. Does the same thing in Social Infestation since 1997.

Brent Hinds (guitar, vocals) – Played guitar and performed backing vocals in Four Hour Fogger between about 1995 and 1999. Is currently the vocalist and lead guitarist in Fiend Without A Face, The Blood Vessels and West End Motel.

Bill Kelliher (guitar) – Played guitar in Butterslax in the early 90s, played guitar in Lethargy between 1995 and 1999, played bass in Today Is The Day in 1999.

Brann Dailor (drums) – Played drums in Lethargy between 1992 and 1999, played drums in Today Is The Day in 1999.

I think that about wraps it up. If I got any dates wrong, feel free to correct me. Also if you have any tracks by Knuckle (the band Troy was in in the early 90s and became Four Hour Fogger when Brent joined) let me know.

(zip) The history of Mastodon (96 mb)

1. Butterslax – Freezer burnt
2. Butterslax – Nursey
3. Butterslax – Slice

4. Lethargy – Little man
5. Lethargy – Humor me
6. Lethargy – Create

7. Four Hour Fogger – Triracial isolates
8. Four Hour Fogger – Victim eyes
9. Four Hour Fogger – Test of toast

10. Social Infestation – The Dirty Harry syndrome
11. Social Infestation – Black
12. Social Infestation – Kill or be killed

13. A Death Between Seasons – Barely reaching zero
14. A Death Between Seasons – Deconstructing the archangel

15. Today Is The Day – In the eyes of God
16. Today Is The Day – Spotting a unicorn
17. Today Is The Day – Who is the black angel?

18. Fiend Without A Face – Calypso
19. Fiend Without A Face – Bank robbin’ bandits
20. Fiend Without A Face – New York

21. The Blood Vessels – Bite
22. The Blood Vessels – I was gonna do it
23. The Blood Vessels – Debris

24. West End Motel – Come bearing gifts
25. West End Motel – Oh I’m on my way

26. Mastodon – We built this come death (demo)
27. Mastodon – Battle at sea
28. Mastodon – Trilobite
29. Mastodon – Ísland
30. Mastodon – Siberian divide

Buy ‘em @ Amazon.com.

Proper moving attire (as issued by the European Union in 2006): Shoddy tattoo from the best band in the world, wristband from the worst band in the world and Evol Slippers Ov Doom from a famous Finnish homosexual.

Thank you, IKEA! Of all enormous multi billion dollar furniture corporations founded by an old Nazi, you’re my favourite!

Even big strong IKEA assemblers need refueling. Here we have all basic food groups in one meal:
1. Water
2. Noodles
3. Orange phallic things
4. Girly bowl with blueberries on it

Another IKEA find: The dill pillow (aka The Dillow). It’s not a home without it.

Picture frames named after the Swedish slang word for “Boner”. I don’t know why I like that so much.

The watchdogs: Bowser, a monkey, The Phantom, a Gamorrean and Alf. Ain’t nobody gonna break in here, motherfucker.

Enormous golf ball for a lamp? Check.
Not one, but two VCRs? Check.
Antique TV from the 80′s by an obscure Italian manufacturer with possible mafia ties? Check!
Alright, that’s more than enough. Here’s some music:

Not a lot of updates around here as you may have noticed. As soon as I get my internet connection sorted out at the new apartment, I’ll get back to posting as usual.

Meanwhile, for any of you who downloaded the Friday MP3 Shuffle Vol. 27 and enjoyed the track by a little band called Dellamorte, here’s a treat for you.

Dellamorte was a Swedish death metal band which belonged firmly in the Entombed department of the genre. In other words, groovy rockin’ death metal to shake your ass to. Dellamorte had more of a hardcorish, d-beat leaning though, though the comparison to their death ‘n’ roll brothers from Stockholm is fully valid.

But if Entombed were the fashionable darlings of Swedish death metal and got to be on television and magazine covers, Dellamorte were their paint-huffing country bumpkin cousins who spent most of their days drinking moonshine and cheap beer in the woods and lived in a dumpster behind Hells Angels’ clubhouse. Inbred porn addicts who haven’t showed in a year and have so much dry, crusty smegma on the tip of their foreskin they can’t even piss straight.

Too much information? Sorry.

They released three albums before disbanding and members of the band have been found in Insision, Carnal Forge, Centinex, Regurgitate, Katatonia and many other bands worth checking out. Bassist Daniel Ekeroth wrote the excellent book Swedish Death Metal in 2007. Buy it here.

Uglier And More Disgusting was the second (and in my opinion best) album, produced by none other than Peter Tägtgren (Hypocrisy, Pain, Bloodbath). A great album which almost, almost made it onto my best 30 albums of the 90s countdown.

Enjoy, children.

(zip) Dellamorte – Uglier and more disgusting (30 mb)

1. Uglier and more disgusting
2. Sex machine
3. Miss Lords
4. Corpses
5. Lies
6. Fallen angel crashes dead
7. Dirty
8. Plug me in
9. Wretched
10. As much as you hurt me
11. 666 and pentagrams
12. So many reasons

(zip) MP3 Shuffle #28 (53 mb)

1. High On Fire – Eyes and tooth (2002)
2. Mother Love Bone – Chloe dancer/Crown of thorns (1989)
3. Rainbow – Long live rock ‘n’ roll (1978)
4. Therapy? – Hey Satan you rock (2003)
5. Dozer – Rising (2003)
6. Backyard Babies – Babylon (1997)
7. Sleep – Dragonaut (1992)
8. Trans Am – City in flames (1999)
9. Stairland – Chung V (2003)
10. The Human Condition – Tear the walls down (2008)
11. Sengaija – Vad är det som låter? (1999)
12. Abhinanda – All of us (1997)
13. Mudhoney – Chain that door (1988)
14. Seigmen – Monument (1994)

Buy ‘em all @ Amazon.com.

(zip) MP3 Shuffle #27 (47 mb)

1. Down – The man that follows hell (2002)
2. Death Breath – Chopping spree (2006)
3. Nasum – Circle of defeat (2004)
4. Kyuss – Conan Troutman (1993)
5. Black Sabbath – Electric funeral (1971)
6. Dellamorte – Lies (1997)
7. Murder Corporation – Out of bullet (1997)
8. Finntroll – Fiskarens fiende (2004)
9. Entombed – Kick out the jams (1997)
10. Mental Hippie Blood – Psychopathic mind (1994)
11. Metallica – Black squirrel (2008)
12. Ribspreader – Morbidity awoken (2004)
13. Converge – Disintegration (2001)

Lika whatcha hear? Buy ‘em all @ Amazon.com.

A few years ago Dave Grohl said in an interview that his next project would a band with him on drums, John Paul Jones (whom he had just worked with on Foo Fighter‘s In Your Honor) on bass and Josh Homme on guitar. I thought it was just a dream line-up mentioned as a spur of the moment kinda thing, but apparently not. The trio has been recording in secret will album slated for release early next year.

What I’ve heard so far has sounded good, especially Nobody Loves Me And Neither Do I which somehow manages to sound like all three bands at the same time:

Nobody Loves Me And Neither Do I preview:

Elephants preview:

(mp3) Led Zeppelin – Heartbreaker
Available on II (1969)

(mp3) Queens of the Stone Age – Monsters in your parasol
Available on Rated R (2000)

(mp3) Foo Fighters – Walking a line
Available on One By One (Japanese edition, 2002)

A really good one, this. I’m quite proud of it.

(zip) MP3 Shuffle #26 (55 mb)

1. Workhorse – Red sea (1971)
2. Nazareth – Bad bad boy (1973)
3. Cathedral – Serpent eve (1992)
4. High On Fire – Cyclopian scape (2007)
5. Kylesa – Only one (2009)
6. Mad Cow Disease – White dove (1996)
7. Kong – Sport (2009)
8. Stajnas Lobos – I want you (2004)
9. Necrophobic – La satanisma murte (2009)
10. MoistBoys – White trash (2005)
11. Meshuggah – Qualms of reality (1991)
12. Municipal Waste – Mind eraser (2005)
13. Teddybears STHLM – Fill in the blanks (1993)
14. Yawning Man – Encounters with an angry god (2005)

Lika whatcha hear? Then buy ‘em @ Amazon.com.

Lucky for him, he did not have to live to experience the hundreds, if not thousands, of metal bands writing songs inspired by his works. He also didn’t have to endure the psychedelic rock band of the 60′s that took name after him. I don’t think he would have appreciated either of these, the grumpy miserable old sod.

He may have been the scowling, glass-is-half-empty type, but that didn’t stop him from being the author of all authors. The #1 of all time, if you ask me. Here’s three songs inspired by the big man himself:

The Thing That Should Not Be is based on Shadow Over Innsmouth (1931), The Face Of Oblivion is a re-telling of At The Mountains Of Madness (also 1931) and Cthulhu Fhtagn! is just a general tribute.

(mp3) Metallica – The thing that should not be
Available on Master Of Puppets (1986)

(mp3) High On Fire – The face of oblivion
Available on Blessed Black Wings (2005)

(mp3) Death Breath – Cthulhu fhtagn!
Available on Stinking Up The Night (2006)

I’ve done a few themed posting in the past, such as the Covers Month of April ’09 or the Outsider Odyssey of February/March, and each time it’s over it makes me feel a bit empty. Kind of like graduating from high school which leaves you with the feeling of “Great! It’s finally over!” which then transforms into “Wait, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?”. Ah well, I’ll think of something.

By the way, did any of you miss the weekly Friday MP3 Shuffles? They were relocated to my other blog while the countdown was going on. Go there and download them, they’re amazing.

I know there are some who are grumpy because Neurosis or Kyuss didn’t make it on my list (hi Tomi!), but although I love Neurosis and Kyuss it was important to me to only include albums that mean something to me, that I have a personal connection of some sort with. If I had included every album of the 90s that I like, this would have been a top 300.

I find the statistics quite fascinating, as I have always considered 1995 to be a rather weak year in music. Apparently that’s not the case at all:

1990: 0
1991: 5
1992: 2
1993: 1
1994: 3
1995: 7
1996: 3
1997: 3
1998: 3
1999: 3

As we can see 1991 and 1995 rule supreme while 1990 is such a total loser. What a lamestain. If you ever see 1990 walking by, point at it and laugh mockingly.

Here follows a little shoutout to the albums that almost made it onto the list. Check them out too.

Poison Idea – Feel The Darkness (1990)
Slayer – Seasons in the Abyss (1990)
The Dwarves – Blood, Guts & Pussy (1990)
Naked City – Torture Garden (1990)
Judas Priest – Painkiller (1990)
Napalm Death – Harmony Corruption (1990)
Exhorder – Slaughter in the Vatican (1990)
Skid Row – Slave To The Grind (1991)
Grave – Into The Grave (1991)
Slint – Spiderland (1991)
Sepultura – Arise (1991)
Gruntruck – Inside Yours (1991)
Ministry – Psalm 69 (1992)
Sleep – Sleep’s Holy Mountain (1992)
Darkthrone – A Blaze In The Northern Sky (1992)
Fear Factory – Soul Of A New Machine (1992)
Zeni Geva – Desire For Agony (1993)
The Melvins – Houdini (1993)
Cynic – Focus (1993)
The Gits – Enter: The Conquering Chicken (1993)
Green Day – Dookie (1994)
Hole – Live Through This (1994)
Disrupt – Unrest (1994)
Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral (1994)
Acid Bath – When The Kite String Pops (1994)
Shellac – At Action Park (1994)
Kyuss – Welcome To Sky Valley (1994)
Tiamat – Wildhoney (1994)
Morbid Angel – Domination (1995)
Rancid – …And Out Come The Wolves (1995)
Clutch – S/t (1995)
Death – Symbolic (1995)
Brujeria – Raza Odiada (1995)
Daemon – Seven Deadly Sins (1996)
Screaming Trees – Dust (1996)
Eyehategod – Dopesick (1996)
Social Distortion – White Light, White Heat, White Trash (1996)
The Tea Party – Transmission (1997)
The Wildhearts – Endless Nameless (1997)
Devin Townsend – Ocean Machine: Biomech (1997)
Machine Head – The More Things Change (1997)
Dellamorte – Uglier And More Disgusting (1997)
System Of A Down – S/t (1998)
At The Drive-In – In/Casino/Out (1998)
Backyard Babies – Total 13 (1998)
Nasum – Inhale/Exhale (1998)
Boredoms – Super æ (1998)
Amon Amarth – Once Sent From The Golden Hall (1998)
The Haunted – S/t (1998)
Haystack – Slave Me (1998)
Darkane – Rusted Angel (1999)
Breach – Venom (1999)
Neurosis – Times of Grace (1999)
Today Is The Day – In The Eyes Of God (1999)
Testament – The Gathering (1999)
Chris Cornell – Euphoria Morning (1999)
The Dillinger Escape Plan – Calculating Infinity (1999)
Mr. Bungle – California(1999)

Alrighty, feels good to have gotten that out of the way. Now I feel a little less guilty about leaving some of these great albums and bands off the list.

I’ve compiled the top 30 bands into two big zip files for your listening pleasure. I recommend listening to these backwards starting with #30 for that genuine countdown feel.

(zip) Top 30 of the 90s part 1 (1-15)
(zip) Top 30 of the 90s part 2 (16-30)

30. Nirvana – Frances Farmer will have her revenge on Seattle (1993)
29. Refused – Refused are fucking dead (1998)
28. Turbonegro – Hobbit motherfuckers (1996)
27. Sugar Ray – Streaker (1995)
26. Tool – H. (1996)
25. The Smashing Pumpkins – Zero (1995)
24. Foo Fighters – Oh, George (1995)
23. Dropkick Murphys – Road of the righteous (1998)
22. Slipknot – Eeyore (1999)
21. Pantera – Suicide note, pt. 2 (1996)
20. Therapy? – Stop it you’re killing me (1994)
19. Korn – Ball tongue (1994)
18. Peace, Love And Pitbulls – On/Off (1994)
17. Stone Temple Pilots – Wicked garden (1992)
16. Metallica – The god that failed (1991)
15. Misery Loves Co. – Deny everything (1997)
14. White Zombie – Grease paint and monkey brains (1995)
13. Faith No More – The last to know (1995)
12. Mad Season feat. Mark Lanegan – Long gone day (1995)
11. The Hellacopters – The devil stole the beat from the lord (1999)
10. Queens of the Stone Age – Give the mule what he wants (1998)
9. Opeth – Serenity painted death (1999)
8. Alice In Chains – Dam that river (1992)
7. Mary Beats Jane – Blackeye (1997)
6. Strapping Young Lad – Velvet Kevorkian/All hail the new flesh (1997)
5. Down – Hail the leaf (1995)
4. Temple of the Dog – Say hello 2 heaven (1991)
3. Soundgarden – Holy water (1991)
2. Pearl Jam – Garden (1991)
1. Entombed – Through the collonades (1991)

Enjoy!

So, we’re getting close. Approaching the end of our little journey through a wonderful decade. Aw gee, I wonder what album is #1. What could it possibly be? Kyuss perhaps? Blues For The Red Sun or Welcome To Sky Valley?

Nope.

Maybe Nine Inch Nails’ The Downward Spiral? Nope, sorry Buster. It’s not Fireside either, or Afghan Whigs. Well about Slayer? Seasons In The Abyss is pretty good. Indeed, but not good enough.

At The Gates then? Slaughter Of The Soul is a classic! Yes it is, but also hideously overrated. Ministry’s Psalm 69? Anthrax’s The Sound Of White Noise? Dismember’s Like An Everflowing Stream?

No no and no.

An anonymous person left this comment the other day:

Well, since there’s one obvious band you haven’t mentioned yet – I’m pretty sure that’s the number 1 spot. If you have any sense, you’ll pick the ’94 album, not the ’97 (although great as well) or the ’99 (not so great) ones.

I assume this person knows me from the Machine Head fourm and referred to Burn My Eyes (1994), The More Things Change (1997) and The Burning Red (1999). But alas, it’s not Machine Head either.

Death’s Spiritual Healing? Today Is The Day’s In The Eyes Of God or Temple Of The Morning Star? Carcass’ Heartwork? Something by Testament perhaps? The Gathering, or Low? No, sorry. Mother Love Bone’s Apple? No, I told you there was no grunge at #1. The Haunted’s selftitled debut? No.

Some black metal then? Mayhem’s De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas? Darkthrone’s A Blaze In The Northern Sky? Satyricon’s Nemesis Divina? Emperor’s Anthems To The Welkin At Dusk? Hell no (pun intended).

Judas Priest’s Painkiller? Focus by Cynic? Sepultura’s Arise or Chaos AD? Obituary’s Cause Of Death? Alright, then it HAS to be Meshuggah, right?!

Ha! Don’t make me laugh.

What about Neurosis? Nope. Sorry, Tomi.

Perhaps you think I picked Use Your Illusion 1 & 2? Don’t insult me. The Melvins? No, but they were really close to making it onto the list. Mr. Bungle’s Disco Volante? Nah, but that one also came close.

Morbid Angel? Autopsy? Megadeth? Amorphis? Bathory? Edge Of Sanity? Godflesh? Bolt Thrower? Rancid? Paradise Lost? Breach? Helmet? Poison Idea? Vision Of Disorder? Nailbomb? Type O Negative? Exhorder? Fear Factory? Gruntruck? Life Of Agony? Grave? Vision Of Disorder? Handsome? Both Worlds? Agnostic Front? Dissection? Prong? Cryptopsy? Vader? Crowbar? Nile? Athiest? Anal Cunt? Primus? Anathema? Deicide? Napalm Death? Rage Against The Machine? Tiamat? Corrosion Of Conformity?

Not even close. I’ll give you a hint: It was released in 1991. Any ideas?

Fine, I’ll tell you what it is.

Are you ready?

I’m not so sure you are.

But here it comes anyway.

Hold on to your seat, kids.

Metal Bastard hereby declares that the best album of 1990s is…

Well, what else?

The best death metal album of all time, and there’s plenty of competition. Stockholm’s very own Gods of grind, soldiers of slaughter, cohorts of carnage, disciples of decay and minions of mayhem.

This was Entombed’s second album, the one were they took everything to the extreme – it’s still to this day their most technical and sophisticated. From the caveman-esque stylings of their 1990 debut Left Hand Path to the (relatively) high tech, surgical precision riff fest of Clandestine, the evolution is remarkable.

But then again Entombed had become quite a different band. Bassist Lars Rosenström had been added to the lineup and singer L-G Petrov had been fired after it turned out he and drummer Nicke Andersson had been boning the same girl. Instead Nicke performed the vocals himself for Petrov’s replacement Jonny Dordevic to use as a guide, but Dordevic either never got around to recording vocals or the band thought his performance wasn’t good enough.

It’s hard to know since memories on the matter seems to differ – Entombed is one of those bands where you get a radically different take on things depending on which member you ask. It’s not always easy to know exactly what went down as they all give very different testimonies. An official Entombed biography would be a nightmare to write.

Either way, Dordevic stayed with the band for a while and performed at the now legendary Hultsfred gig in 1992 that made the band quite famous in their native land. However, he was soon fired and Petrov was asked to return as the band’s singer, a position he holds to this day.

Nicke Andersson’s vocals deserve a special mention though. Although quite deep, he never descends into the truly guttural vocals of many death metal singers. His performance is more of an aggressive low shout/scream that fit the music perfectly. As much as I love Petrov’s performances on the rest of the Entombed catalogue, I doubt he could’ve provided more suitable vocals for this album.

In fact, this is as close to a Nicke Andersson solo death metal album as we’re likely to come. He had a hand in writing every song, plenty of lyrics, played lead guitar on some tracks, sang lead and painted the back cover. Given what a fucking genious that man is it’s no wonder the album is as good as it is.

His drumming is also worth a mention, even if it’s only to say that it’s completely unhinged (a word I probably use too much) and fucked up. He’s all over the place, like a death metal Brann Dailor.

For whatever reason, on Clandestine Entombed sounded, for a lack of a better word, mature.

The songs were more complex, more layered, denser and thicker than ever, each song containing more spine-snapping riffs than most bands can muster in an entire career. Some songs are even so complex the band later complained that they were too difficult to replicate live.

Clandestine also had the best lyrics of Entombed’s career. with Kenny Håkansson, Andersson’s childhood friend and future bandmate in The Hellacopters, providing lyrics for several songs. The lyrics are incredibly well-written overall and they almost deserve a chapter of their own. There’s this evil, dark, almost Lovecraftian feeling permiating the whole record. A feeling of unease, of uncertainty, of ancient evils lurking just beyond the borders of comprehension. This album captures, better than any other album I’ve heard, the feeling of utter helpness in the face of unimaginable, gargantuan terrors from distant dimensions.

The one thing that really really sets this album apart from the thousands of death metal albums released over the last 20-25 years is the production, courtesy of Tomas Skogsberg at the near mythical Sunlight Studios in Stockholm. And the samples! Oh good god the samples… The sample of the manic cackling laugh from the 1932 classic The Mummy in Sinners Bleed sends shivers down my spine every single time.

Oh fuck it, I’m at a loss for words. I don’t get speechless often but I honestly can’t think of any way to describe the brilliance of this album. It’s a bonafide meisterwerk of Biblical porportions, a flawless wonder, an eloquent demonstration of how beautiful and envigorating death metal can be.

I’ll wrap up this epic countdown by letting the music speak for itself – download these four tracks, then buy the album (or download from somewhere, doesn’t matter as long as you hear it) and worship till the day the clouds fall from the skies, the angels get AIDS and demons will rule the earth.

(mp3) Entombed – Sinners bleed
(mp3) Entombed – Blessed be (recommended!)
(mp3) Entombed – Chaos breed (recommended!)
(mp3) Entombed – Severe burns

Buy Clandestine @ Amazon.com.

I GOTCHA O SNAP! PSYCH!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Any idea what the #1 might be? Let the guessing game begin.

With a past in bands like Mother Love Bone, Green River, Shadow and Bad Radio, Pearl Jam came storming out of the gates with one hell of a line-up, one hell of a debut album and a hell of a lot of expectations. Accused of posery (I’m pretty sure that’s a word) by everyone from music critics to that old bag of whines Kurt Cobain, but a lot of people also embraced Ten and saw it for what it was – a classic 70s style rock album with one epic anthem after another filtered through the grittiness of the late 80s/early 90s Northwestern music scene and singer Eddie Vedder’s troubled youth.

No wonder kids all over the world thought it to be the soundtrack to their adolescence. My older sister was one of them and in 1992 she kept playing this album over and over and over and fucking over and little ol’e me was trying to play Super Mario World on the SNES in the next room and had to put up with constantly getting bothered with this album.

When Vedder wailed “But I’m still alive” in Alive I always thought to myself “Yeah but not for long, sounds like you’re on your deathbed, you whiny cunt”. I never said that out loud because my sister would have hit me repeatedly in the head King of the Ants-style. A classmate used to wear this Pearl Jam shirt to school every single day, and I used to pester him about it. When he snidedly asked me if I had even heard the band, I replied: “Yeah, my sister listens to them. They eat cock”.

It was only a few years later that I realise how much I really liked the album. After being systematically subjected to it I knew everything song by heart – and I still do! It’s like those lullabies you learn as a child. They stick with you forever and you can sing any of them at the drop of a hat without even trying to remember the words. Ten is a pivotal part of my DNA ladder.

Not long ago a remixed version was released, since the band was never that happy with the reverb-laden original mix. I gave it a listen and I gotta be honest with you – I can hardly tell the difference. Yeah it sounds a little less polished, but way to make a big deal about it.

Sure, compared to Pearl Jam’s later, more earthier releases, this sounds like a Meat Loaf record. But that’s the beauty of it, the shimmering ethereal production is exactly what songs this emotional needs.

Alright, enough about that. The #1 spot will be revealed this weekend.

I can feel you shivering with anticipation already!

(mp3) Pearl Jam – Once (recommended!)
(mp3) Pearl Jam – Even flow
(mp3) Pearl Jam – Black

The video for Even Flow:

Buy Ten @ Amazon.com.

Oh lawd, this is too much power for one man!

Ahem. Alrighty, Badmotorfinger. I was a bit torn whether I should put this or 1994′s Superunknown on the list. It was a close call, but ultimately I just had to go with this one.

Soundgarden in the prime, at the height of their powers. The songs were the most epic of their career, the riffs were heavier and more technical than ever (imagine Tony Iommi with ADD), Chris Cornell’s wailing was that of the gods themselves.

Every single track is a classic, every line pure beauty. Chris Cornell may be as interesting as my morning stool nowadays, but between 1988 and 1996, he was one of the best lyricists in the biz. I don’t even know what half of it means, but Soundgarden was one of those very few bands where you could take the booklet and read the lyrics like a collection of poetry.

Perhaps best known for its singles Rusty Cage, Outshined and Jesus Christ Pose, the album consists of so much more, and most people don’t even know it. There’s the psychedelic, Eastern-tinged Mind Riot which at first only sounds confused and doesn’t seem to go anywhere, but once it hits you you’ll be humming it forever.

There’s the raging quickies Face Pollution and Drawing Flies, there’s Room A Thousand Years Wide, not only Soundgarden’s best song but one of the best songs made by anyone ever. Listen to Cornell’s opening scream, the seemingly endless guitar note screeching like an ambulance siren throughout every verse and the blistering saxophone solo. So beautiful, so perfect, so sublime it makes me tear up just writing about it.

There’s Slaves And Bulldozers, the bass line of which will make your speaker vibrate across the room. The Black Sabbath-on-steroids heaviness of New Damage, the Led Zeppelin-on-loco-weed stylings of Somewhere, or Holy Waters, the song Deep Purple never wrote. I could go on forever, but I shant. If these songs were penises I would drop to my knees and gently fellate them til my jaw fell off.

Honestly, I don’t know why you’re still reading this. You’re wasting time that could be spent ordering a copy of Badmotorfinger.

(mp3) Soundgarden – Room a thousand years wide (recommended!)
(mp3) Soundgarden – Mind riot
(mp3) Soundgarden – New damage

Searching With My Good Eye Closed (orgasmic live version):

Buy Badmotorfinger @ Amazon.com.

Seattle, 1990. Andy Wood, frontman of Mother Love Bone and Malfunkshun, dies of a heroin overdose when the band was on the brink of a major breakthrough. His band mates, guitarist Stone Gossard and bassist Jeff Ament, team up with their old buddies Chris Cornell and Matt Cameron from Soundgarden and a relative unknown, Mike McCready, who helps out on guitar duties.

Together they form Temple Of The Dog, named after a line in the Mother Love Bone song Man Of Golden Words, to honor their deceased friend and help the healing process. Cornell contributes two songs written for and about Wood – Say Hello 2 Heaven and Reach Down, and the project soon turned into something much bigger.

The band recorded several more of Cornell’s songs as well as some of Gossard’s material, such as Times Of Trouble which was also the blueprint for Pearl Jam’s Footsteps. Eddie Vedder – a Californian surfer dude and beach bum whom had just been recruited by Gossard, Ament and McCready for their new band Pearl Jam – joined the sessions and sang on several tracks, included a duet with Cornell, Hungerstrike.

The album got great reviews but sold quite modestly. That is until a year later when both Soundgarden and Pearl Jam had released successful albums (Badmotorfinger and Ten, respectively) and relaunched the album as a Soundgarden/Pearl Jam collaboration and had a video made for Hungerstrike.

Regarding the quality of the album I have little to add, it’s the 4th best album of the decade for a reason – the songs are fucking amazing, the production is perfect, everyone is on fire, especially Cornell who gives what is probably the performance of his career.

The shortlived band only played one gig, and apart from a couple of spur-of-the-moment performances (like when Cornell has joined Pearl Jam on stage), Temple Of The Dog has been completely inactive for the last 18 years.

Which I appreciate, because as any avid reader of this blog would know by now, if there is one thing I detest it’s reunions. Let sleeping dogs lie, no need to flog a dead horse for old times sake. Just because something was great once doesn’t mean it should be resurrected. The memories are good enough, leave it at that.

Nothing ruins creativity more effectively than nostalgia. Looking back instead of forward and trying to recreate big moments will always fail and only leave you disappointed. Just look what happened in the 90s when Velvet Underground reunited, or perhaps The Sex Pistols. Or when The Stooges got back together. A bunch of crusty old farts trying to reenact something that was vital and exciting once, and in the process going against everything their bands stood for in the first place. Way to rape your legacy, morons.

And don’t even get me started on people like The Rolling Stones who should have called it quits in 1969 when “I can’t get no satisfaction” still meant something. If you still don’t know how to get some satisfaction after 45 years, maybe you’re doing it wrong. Throw in the towel and shut the fuck up, Big Lips McGee.

B.B. King has been singing The Thrill Is Gone since 1970. Well maybe it’s time to go find a new thrill then and quit moaning about it, you heffer. The Who still playing My Generation? “I hope I die before I get old”? Allow me to wave the flag of massive fail. Why don’t they all just fade away?

I’ll tell you why: Nostalgia. Clinging on to a moment instead of creating new ones. I don’t want to die before I get old, but I hope I die before I get as pathetic as Roger Daltry.

Which is one of the reasons I rank this album higher than Down’s NOLA – I have nothing against Down’s subsequent output, but just imagine if Down had just made that one album and was never heard from again. By now they would have cult status unlike most things seen in the metal world. Had that been case, perhaps NOLA would have been #4, and TOTD #5. It’s quite possible.

So thank you, Temple Of The Dog for never going on tour, for never reuniting and for never ever making a follow-up album. May it stay that way.

(mp3) Temple of the Dog – Call me a dog
(mp3) Temple of the Dog – Times of trouble (recommended!)
(mp3) Temple of the Dog – Wooden Jesus

The video for Hungerstrike:

Buy S/t @ Amazon.com.

It soon surfaced that the anonymous members behind this moniker were long-time friends Phil Anselmo (Pantera), Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity), Jimmy Bower (Eyehategod) and Kirk Windstein and Todd Strange (Crowbar) who instead of competing with each other had decided to join forces in the mightiest metal cartel the world has seen.

Not only a “supergroup” worth the name (unlike most supergroups) but a damn fine group, period. Together they made an album better than anything Pantera, CoC, Crowbar or Eyehategod have ever produced. The sum greater than its parts? No kidding.

When NOLA hit the shelves in 1995 it was met with unanimous praise and sold half a million copies. Rightfully so, as the album not only combines the very best parts of all aforementioned bands, but has stronger Southern influences than all of them. You can smell the hotter-than-hell shrimp gumbo bubbling away and feel the stinking steam rising from swamps. You can hear the cicadas, the mosquitos, Sweet Home Alabama playing loudly at the BBQ party down the dirt road, the gators splashing in the creek, and everyone drives a pick-up truck adorned with a Confederate flag.

A bunch of stereotypes, I know. But listen to the album and you’ll see for yourself – that’s exactly what NOLA sounds like. A better title (short for “New Orleans, Louisiana”) could not have been chosen.

Seven long years went by before the follow-up Down II was released in 2002, and got a much more mixed reception. The band had gotten decidedly softer and the album wasn’t nearly as dark as their debut.

True, II doesn’t have the classic feel of NOLA, but I happen to like quite a bit. Perhaps people got disappointed when instead of a Sabbathy metal album with Southern tinges, they got a Southern rock album with Sabbath tinges. Or maybe the years of hype and praise had create unrealistic expectations.

However you may feel about Down’s current output (their 4th album is expected to be released later this year), you’d have to be a fool not to fall to your knees and worship the wonder that is NOLA.

(mp3) Down – Rehab
(mp3) Down – Eyes of the south
(mp3) Down – Bury me smoke (recommended)

Buy NOLA @ Amazon.com.

The video for Stone The Crow:

After singing on the only listenable Steve Vai record (Sex And Religion, 1993), playing guitar with The Wildhearts, and releasing the promising but ultimately kinda dull Strapping Young Lad debut Heavy As A Really Heavy Thing, Devin Townsend rallied up his forces (guitarist Jed Simon, bassist Byron Stroud and drummer Gene Hoglan) and released City, still to this day the finest moment of his career.

The soundtrack to the futuristic loonie bin of your choice, City is an unstoppable force few bands can compete with. An album consisting of the cold machine-like brutality of industrial metal, the surgical precision riffing of thrash metal and the intensity of grindcore, all buried under layers of the most glorious of white noise and swathes of keyboards providing a savage soundscape worthy of H.R. Giger’s most frantic nightmares.

All of which is topped off with Devin Townsend screaming out his distaste for humanity with a sarcastic grin stretching from ear to ear.

That last one is one of the most important ingredients on here: Townsend’s sense of humor. Strapping Young Lad’s whole career has been one long exercise in taking the piss of the absurdity known as metal music. Every cliche is embraced and taken to the limit. And as a result they are one of the best metal bands in world. Fancy that. After being a SYL fan for too long, it’s nearly impossible to listen to metal bands who take themselves too seriously.

The sheer ferocity, mayhem and madness exhibited in its nine tracks are enough to blow the pubes right off your manshaft, it’s not until the album’s sixth track AAA that the savage beating up lets for a moment. If you look up “Controlled chaos” in a dictonairy, you’ll find a picture of this album.

At its finest moments, City feels like being kicked to death in an auto wrecking yard by a cyberpunk clown in a straitjacket while replicant midgets are doing cartwheels in the background and rabid sealions balance the chopped off heads of your loved ones on their noses.

Much of the album’s success also lies (not unlike Slayer’s Reign In Blood, another quickpaced mental case of a record) in its brevity. Where Townsend often has a tendency to fill each cd to the brim even though the album as a whole would have benefitted from trimming the fat a bit, City‘s nine tracks in 39 minutes is just right.

Alright, that’ll do. Are you ready for the top 5?

You better be.

(mp3) Strapping Young Lad – Oh my fucking god
(mp3) Strapping Young Lad – Detox
(mp3) Strapping Young Lad – Underneath the waves (recommended!)

Buy City @ Amazon.com.

The video for Detox:

If you have any interest in modern metal, I’m sure you’re familiar with Peter Dolving. If not for his throat shredding performances in The Haunted, then perhaps for his rants on his MySpace Page – rants which frequently make the news section on Blabbermouth.

But before The Haunted there was Mary Beats Jane. Dolving was asked to join the band in the early 90′s. At first he was hesitant, because he thought that by “metal” they meant stuff like Guns N’ Roses, but when the band started namedropping Mudhoney and Black Flag, he was won over.

Funny thing is, Mary Beats Jane sounded absolutely nothing like either Mudhoney or Black Flag. The aforementioned overrated debut album has a Pantera meets Rollins Band kinda vibe and it hasn’t aged very well. Locust however sounds as amazing as it did twelve years ago. Almost like a dirtier, more unhinged version of Tool, only much better (bring your wrath, Tool nerds – I’ll take on every last one of you).

Shortly after the release of Locust Mary Beats Jane disbanded. They reunited in 2004, but has yet to produce a follow up to the majestic Locust.

These three songs only hint at the brilliance that is Locust, an album that must be heard in its entirety. Make the right choice and buy it today. Or just download it from somewhere, I don’t care.

A live performance of Day In Day Out:

Alice In Chains was the continuation of singer Layne Staley’s terrible glam/sleaze outfit Alice N’ Chainz, and quickly became one of the most interesting bands in the Pacific Northwest. The debut, 1990′s Facelift, was great and showed much promise but AIC didn’t fully hit their stride until Dirt.

One of AIC’s major themes was always addiction, and the decadence of addiction. On 1995′s selftitled album (which I wrote about here – go read it, it’s a very good piece) the drugs had taken their toll which resulted in a bleak album with hollow eyes, sunken cheeks and all hope gone. But on Dirt, while it acknowledges that drugs are bad mmkay, many songs do glorify them and the lifestyle that comes with them in a big way.

“Yeah yeah yeah, you shouldn’t do drugs kids, blah blah yadda yadda but I do drugs and therefore I am enlightened, I’ve seen shit you haven’t. I’m not condoning it, but I am (wink wink). Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go inject some brown muck into my system.”

At this point in time, drugs were still fun and cool and life was a party, but it always hints at the darkness lurking around the corner.

By 1994/95 the destructive lifestyles of the band members, Staley in particular, had escalated. Relationships started breaking down and AIC didn’t tour for years. S/t would be their last album, and their MTV Unplugged gig in 1996 would be one of their very last together before Staley finally succumbed to his addiction in 2002.

(mp3) Alice In Chains – Rain when I die (recommended!)
(mp3) Alice In Chains – Junkhead
(mp3) Alice In Chains – Down in a hole

Buy Dirt @ Amazon.com.

Down In A Hole performed on MTV Unplugged:

After a promising but somewhat lacking debut (1995′s Orchid), a brilliant second album (1996′s Morningrise) and a third album that took the band in a slightly new direction (1998′s My Arms, Your Hearse), Stockholm’s progressive death metal heroes Opeth made their very first bonafide masterpiece. Morningrise came close, but with Still Life everything fell into place and they once and for all found their voice, their personality and the template they still use to this day.

To be honest the term “progressive death metal” can mean anything, but when applied to Opeth it means “death metal that is progressive in the sense that it incorprates elements of 1960s and 70s style progressive rock”, which is something that Opeth had done from day one, but on Still Life all the flaws that sometimes littered their first three albums were gone.

For My Arms, Your Hearse the band moved away from the twin guitar harmonies of the first two albums and moved into a different, more brutal realm. Singer/guitarist/main songwriter Mikael Åkerfeldt also dropped his high, shrieking black metal-styled voice for a more guttural death metal bellow, and lo and behold – the Opeth we know today was born. This also the first album that featured the classic Åkerfeldt/Lindgren/Mendez/Lopez line-up that would do five album together before drummer Martin Lopez left the band for health reasons in 2006.

Rumor has it the band only rehearsed twice preparing for this album and that Åkerfeldt only had rough notes of the arrangements scribbled down for the band to play by. If that’s true it’s absolutely staggering, as Still Life is arguably Opeth’s most complex album songwriting wise where each song veers off in a dozen different directions and very few riffs and parts are repeated.

Still Life is a concept album about a man returning to his deeply religious home town fifteen years after being banished for not being religious (I guess) to seek out Melinda, the woman he left behind and the love of his life. I’m not gonna ruin the ending for you, but they both die.

Oops!

Interpretations of what each track means usually run wild on various metal message boards and the official Opeth board in particular, but Åkerfeldt has to my knowledge never explained the story in any great detail. On the Opeth board there’s been speculations whether Still Life would make a good basis for a movie. I doubt it though, since (although it’s a good story) not only would they probably cast Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston in the lead roles, but it would never be as good as the movie you see in your head when you listen to the album.

If you give a shit, in my mind Melinda looks like Mary Magdalene as played by Monica Bellucci in The Passion Of The Christ:

There’s also been discussions about whether the title of the opening track The Moor doesn’t actually refer to a moor, but rather a Moor. Is it possible the nameless main character is a Moor? Could he be one of the people who Dennis Hopper described in True Romance as doing “so much fucking with Sicilian women that they changed the whole bloodline forever”? I guess we’ll never know.

While this may not be Opeth’s best album (their best is of course 2001′s Blackwater Park), this is an undoubted masterpiece that will forever stand the test of time and maintain a big chunk of my heart.

(mp3) Opeth – Moonlapse vertigo
(mp3) Opeth – White cluster (recommended!)

Buy Still Life @ Amazon.com.

The Moor live in 2004: